A Summer Soul

The Winter Polaroids by TIE  I really am a summer soul trapped in a winter body.  Winter is so much longer than summer, to me. It stretches the mind out thin, makes it eat itself to survive the cold, dark, lonely nights. When the sun goes to bed earlier, life gets really difficult for me, like so much trauma packed tight over a dark, snowed-in cabin. I used to love winter because it meant visiting with family, people that I only caught glimpses of while growing up the way I grew up. Now I sort of dread it. My worst fears came true this past December, or so I felt. When my family looks at me, I think they see my mother, which I love, but sometimes I think that means I'm not being taken seriously. I long to be understood. That's probably why I write so much, I guess. Over-explain.  We are a special little trio, my mother and sister and I. Two cats and a fella for each girl. We are getting to be girls together! It is a pure and delicate time. I went to sleep too early and wo...

"Kismet  was borrowed into English in the early 1800s from Turkish, where it was used as a synonym of fate. This was an expansion on the meaning of the original Arabic word that led to  kismet : that word,  qisma , means “portion” or “lot,” and one early 18th-century bilingual dictionary says it’s a synonym of “fragment.”"  —  "It's Kismet", Merriam-Webster.com

  "Now if you're looking for a savior, well, that's not me."   -Lorde, The Path So Lorde is back.     The significance of this -- of all the little things that had to fall into place to be in a similar headspace as this literal pop icon after whom I've patterned myself since 2013 -- is astronomical (hehe).      First things first, however...     I sleep through the night now;  I no longer look with yearning at certain tools of destruction; I wake up and want to live; I can tell my story without dissolving into sobs; I drink hot tea every morning before work; I serve my small town as a bastion against illiteracy and misinformation, spending paid time amongst the quiet and the sacred rows of books. I've found kindred spirits (read huge nerds ) in my fellow laborers. I've read 11 and 1/2 books this year (but that's a post for another time  😉). I spend a little less time on my phone placing the weight of the world on my shoulders and ...