A Summer Soul

The Winter Polaroids by TIE  I really am a summer soul trapped in a winter body.  Winter is so much longer than summer, to me. It stretches the mind out thin, makes it eat itself to survive the cold, dark, lonely nights. When the sun goes to bed earlier, life gets really difficult for me, like so much trauma packed tight over a dark, snowed-in cabin. I used to love winter because it meant visiting with family, people that I only caught glimpses of while growing up the way I grew up. Now I sort of dread it. My worst fears came true this past December, or so I felt. When my family looks at me, I think they see my mother, which I love, but sometimes I think that means I'm not being taken seriously. I long to be understood. That's probably why I write so much, I guess. Over-explain.  We are a special little trio, my mother and sister and I. Two cats and a fella for each girl. We are getting to be girls together! It is a pure and delicate time. I went to sleep too early and wo...

"Kismet  was borrowed into English in the early 1800s from Turkish, where it was used as a synonym of fate. This was an expansion on the meaning of the original Arabic word that led to  kismet : that word,  qisma , means “portion” or “lot,” and one early 18th-century bilingual dictionary says it’s a synonym of “fragment.”"  —  "It's Kismet", Merriam-Webster.com

 Fascinating. "If you're holding on to frustration [at what happened to you], then that's you saying, 'Well, I blame God. He let this happen to me. Where was He in all that?' Then you might want to talk to Him about that." "There's no such word as 'can't' in the Bible. We don't find that concept in Scripture." "Jesus came to heal and restore all things." "Take every [remembrance of abuse, every trigger] thought captive in Christ." It's so much easier said than done. May He help me to not lose sight of how very heavy a young person's cross can be. Look: Someday others will have words for what happened to them, and they will use them. Don't assume you know how quickly that healing or restoration is supposed to happen. Don't assume they blame anyone but themselves or their abuser; assume they have discussed it at length with their God, trying to unlearn Him as consistently wrathful, dispassionate a...

In the last few weeks, I watched four films dealing with loss, and the ways humanity deals with theft, whether of bright futures, loved ones, healthy relationships, or freedoms. Didn't realize the connections between them all until literally just now, when I started to write in my down time (of which I suddenly have much).

Recently saw a post by an old mentor from my Leadership Training days that said, "Your destiny is coming forth and it looks like inconvenience."

Christmas passed like a dream this year, with peace and the most refreshing silence, surrounded by the most beautiful hills and the kindest people. From the short front porch in a rocking chair with a singing wind chime, I surveyed the little town on Christmas morning and deeply wished I didn't have to go home.

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”  –  Matthew 11:28-29  NLT

2 Corinthians 12:9  – Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses so that the power of Christ can work through me.

I want to say thank you to the church down the road that opened their arms to us this morning.  I have the co-pastor's wife's number in my phone right now and I can call her whenever I need to.