Rivalry

Whiny Red-wig:

You make the back of my neck uncomfortably warm.

I've cried for you once.

You read my palms every now and then
he smiles while I sweat in shallow breaths,
"I don't want to be like you at all!'

But sometimes I think,
"I'm coming for the way you make ivory growl...

I'm coming for the way you squeeze words out through your teeth
and the cavities behind your frozen cheekbones..."

Vindictive. The playing field is not level at all;
In fact, you sit quite beyond me. There is no comparison outside of that
we are both women
and we are both known
by someone special...

Jealousy comes in irrational packages,
spurred on by lunar cycles,
and overthinking...

Thank you, Mother Dearest...

For pushing my dare button.

{I wrote these bitter words for Tori Amos December of 2018 because, "You can't make two women be friends with each other." I had at one time, as she put it, "Nine-inch nails [and] little fascist panties tucked inside the heart of [this] nice girl." This is true, for I was very jealous over a certain artist back then, and bit back a vile anger every time he played her music while I was with him. "But all will be revealed in time (Lorde, Oceanic Feeling, 2021)." I gladly sit beneath her eaves these days, listening to the loud and bolder "Tales of a Librarian" (a gift from same said artist) while I crank out another piece of protection for my soft, softer self. A volcanic Lava Man/Woman used to have to protect her, even against this sweet thing. As everything is, however, Tori is a gift from another world, another time, another chance. Most gratefully and sincerely do I now call her Mother.} - MRYM 12/13/21